Cluny Hill, the Findhorn campus where I'm staying during my time here

I’ve been trying for the last five days to figure out how I am going to describe Findhorn and I know I’m just not going to be able to find the right words. I come up with things like magical, transformative, and life-changing, but what do those terms really mean? How can they possibly convey to you what I am experiencing here? It would take page and pages to tell you everything that has happened in five days.

What I can do is share with you some snippets about my time here, and as I integrate this experience into my life I’ll be able to say something more profound.

Here’s what I can tell you about Findhorn:

1. The doors to the rooms don’t have locks because it’s just not necessary. I’ve never felt safer anywhere. I sleep deeply and peacefully.

2. Before we do anything here, we “tune in.” Meaning, we stand in a circle, hold hands, and connect with each other’s energy and the energy of the room/the place. It is so grounding and it brings incredible presence to each activity. After each activity we “tune out,” which helps us transition from one thing to another. It also creates an immediate bond between the participants.

3. All the meals are blessed by a group. The food is fantastic, fresh from the garden and cooked with love. I’ve worked in the kitchen and I’ve rarely had more fun preparing food.

4.  Non-violent communication is the rule, with “I” statements and a focus on making sure the communication lines are open and clear. I’ve not seen anyone get into an argument yet. However, I’m in my honeymoon period, so this is surely not how it always is. I am certain there are group and personal dynamics that become sticky here just like anywhere else. But here they have a beautiful way of working through them.

5. The three principles are “work is love in action,” co-creation with nature, and using intuition. Can you imagine anywhere more suited for the way I live?  It felt like home from the moment I arrived.

6. The woods behind Cluny Hill have a peaceful and welcoming energy and the garden is tended with such love.

7. The Park, where the Findhorn Foundation is located, is a fascinating international group of people who live by the beach (and the air force base). It’s a strange combination of paradigms.

I’ve met people here who I am sure will be long-time friends. I feel more able to be emotionally vulnerable, something that is quite difficult for me. And I’m in a group of all women! Those who know me well know what a challenge this presents. And yet, I’m doing okay. I’ve got some really nasty stuff coming up inside, but I’m also dealing with it and moving through it rapidly. As I said, it feels safe here. I posted on Facebook the other day that Findhorn is the JFKU Consciousness Studies program (in which I got my master’s degree) on whatever the holistic version of crack is. The work is deep and intensely transformative. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last week, things I know I’ll be working out during the remainder of my trip. I am so glad I came here.

Would I live here? Perhaps. There are many steps one needs to take before being able to do that. I’d need to save up a good chunk of change before that was possible. I am going to see what else this trip brings before I decide the answer to that question. But I can tell you it is something I will seriously consider. It might be that I am meant to take what I have learned here and apply it out in the world instead. All I know in this moment is I will be sad to leave the magic of this place and it will remain in my heart forever.